Friday, 21 October 2016

I Can Never Be Who I Was Before

Silly me.

I went to search for myself to realise that I can never the person I once was.

The person from 10 years ago who was single, without the Love and Mercy of Allah swt, hand-to-mouth-making-ends-meet while looking good in suits and corporate business trips, no dependents whatsover other than plants and bills and mostly spends her entire life working even when travelling.

What was I thinking?

I am so glad I came to realise this. It took me many cups of latte on my own to think straight but the harsh truth came from someone I used to know, who recently reconnected on a professional basis. "You are now a mum of 2. Not single anymore. You wear tudung now."


Thanks! I sure needed that rude slap from one of the most rude and selfish persons I have ever encountered. That aside, it is truth is I am a mum of 2. I am married and trying to make my marriage as happy as can be. I do don the headscarf, despite my dugaan of heat and sweat.

On a positive note, I am more aware of my blessings and shortcomings now. I make a conscious effort to improve myself. Stay with me and root for me.

Have a blessed Friday and weekend, my lovelies!

Monday, 17 October 2016

I Question Myself Sometimes

It saddens me that there are a few types of "charities" in Kuala Lumpur.

The Other Half and I were approached by someone who gave salam, and showed us his plastered wound and asked for money in shopping mall near home. It made us feel bad if we had not returned his salam. It made us feel bad that he was suffering from a wound (that looks a little too Halloween, if you have seen one of those before). It made us feel bad that he would suffer even more if we do not give him any donation.

The same man plies the same pitiful situation in a few malls (Suria KLCC, Avenue K and Great Eastern Mall) and we bumped into him several times on different days. Just like that, our hearts became hardened and we stopped pitying "his situation".


I guess it is the same as the many "my-spouse-is-blind" couples who give salam, sell tissue papers and hover around mamak stalls and open air eateries in Bangsar and Damansara Utama. Over the years, I learnt not to fall foolishly into such business schemes.


Recently, it hit close to home. Someone I have been assisting "got found out". His Revelations were timely and accurate. Just like that, I told myself to stop. It is no use giving fish to someone whom I had already taught to fish but refuses to fish for him/herself.

Syukur Alhamdulillah for His Revelations and Signs. I "halalkan" everything given before, of course. I just will not continue being bullied and used, that's all. Thank you so much for the lessons.


Do you question yourself too?
Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Solo versus Partnership

Salam, my lovelies.

So it has come to pass that I am better suited as an in-house legal counsel for various reasons. The mother of all reasons would be my flexibility to work-from-home so that I can still care for my children.

I know.

Same old story.

Money is not always sole reward or motivation. Access to client account, decision-making process, structure of partnership, and 1001 details should be clearly spelt out in partnership agreement. Therefore, in a situation where  a draft partnership agreement is not forthcoming, that reflects on lack of interest to pursue further.

One can also stick to the quiz on the Malaysian Bar Council website to help determine if one is better suited as a sole proprietor or a partner before even considering such talks. It helps with decision-making process beyond wanting to have partners just for the sole purpose of "beefing up the firm profile", "opening doors" and such.

Well, I have sort of reached my conclusion about myself, and insyaAllah, this is a "happy" one. Alhamdulillah!

Note to self: Shaytaan threatens you with poverty and command you with evil and obscene deeds. [Al-Quran 2:268]
Friday, 7 October 2016

When September Ends

Hello, October!

My month of September was one full of revelations, sign and answers. Alhamdulillah, I can say the outcome is better than my imagination.

While work load is heavy, I tell myself to be thankful for His rezeki.
While my body is weary, I thank those who are here to root for me; and sincerely want to see me survive and eventually triumph this transition period.

You know who you are, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Monday, 19 September 2016

Carefree versus Career

Honestly, I miss my carefree days of working only on selected projects, not worrying about bills, concerned only with what to cook for dinner and if my children achieved their milestones.
Or hanging out with fellow mums from The Playschool and The Big School during brunch and home time.
Or making sure I do not miss the Mothercare sale.
You get the drift.

Those were the good old days, just not too long ago.

The harsh reality, if you ask me, comeback career comes with sacrifices.

My children are getting used to me working from home. They are used to seeing the home office door shut. When they peep in for a cuddle, they see my somewhat stressed out face with my ears glued to the phone and eyes on some documents. They sacrifice a lot too. It breaks my heart, truly.

I worry about bills although I am not the one paying for them currently. What if I have to someday and I cannot afford to?

I worry about escalating cost of property although we have no mortgage on where we live now. How are my children going to ever afford buying a place of their own without my help?

I worry about my own retirement because EPF is not going to be sufficient with double whammy of rate of inflation and Ringgit Malaysia depreciation. Who is going to pay for my cost of living when I am old and infirm?

All the more I am thankful and grateful for my weekly cheque from Naturally Plus. It is hard work presenting an alternative to self- care without antibiotics and medication, especially when I am not a medical representative, but if some many people have succeeded, so can I! I know for a fact an extra RM16,000 per month in my bank account (someday) will take a lot of stress off my chest. That includes being able to relieve others of their pain and suffering too.

All the more I am thankful for building up my legal portfolio now. I am grateful for more and more clients just base on referral after delivery of quality and timely projects.

As bland as it comes, I am also thankful for the minimal wages I have been keeping for 5 years. It is not a lot but it matters. The "extra" money has been useful on more than one occasion in helping others with their difficult challenges (I have been so diligent with not buying handbags because every single time I feel the urge to purchase, I make the effort to donate instead - this is not wise either because Chanel is good investment!)

I guess I am thankful for all that I have now. Syukur alhamdulillah for this wake-up call.
Friday, 16 September 2016

Happy Malaysia Day!

Salam, my lovelies.

How are you spending Malaysia's 53rd birthday?

I had fun cleaning, no joke. There is a certain happy aura once everything is spick and span (I am beyond help, you may snigger away). After spring cleaning, I went to dinner on my own at Bonjour Garden (the kids gave me a holiday, woohoo!) and stocked up on groceries from Jaya Grocers' at Intermark (RM350 for a couple of stuff?!)

Looks like it is going to be piano lessons tomorrow (assessment and concert are fast approaching) and Sunday at The House.

Have a good holiday and fun, everyone!
Monday, 12 September 2016

Selamat Hari Raya Eiduladha

Salam, my lovelies!

Have a blessed Eiduladha and happy holidays. My family and I do not celebrate this in a grand manner other than the Qurban share/donations in the few days leading up to this event. Yesterday was Arafah Day, so we tried making someone else's day brighter.

To all who are celebrating, please do share how you go about it and spread the joy!