How do friendships come to an end? How do you really say goodbye?
From my old blog, and deserves a post here because I just miss R so much.
"The first most depressing post in my blog was about the suicide of a lady from the corner unit of 10th floor on Deepavali 2007. I did not know the late neighbour but do pray for her eternal rest in peace.
This is going to be second most depressing post in my blog. The suicide of a another lady from the corner unit of 8th floor was so difficult for me accept because I was her neighbour and friend. I also knew her young daughter of 7 years old. Her Danish spouse-to-be. Her mother.
I knew about her long and difficult relationship with her Danish spouse-to-be. I have tried mending one of their many fights once and left it at that for fear of being dragged into their affairs.
My last breakfast with her was casual after she helped to send me to the clinic when I was taken ill. Somehow, I did not take her remark of "how nice the lady on the 10th floor just jumped and that's the end of her problems" to heart when we caught up with news of the small community we live in over our bites of roti canai cups of teh tarik.
Outwardly, her life seemed to be going so well. Her daughter was being educated in a private school near by and the Danish spouse-to-be just bought and extensively renovated another bigger unit on the 10th floor for their comfort.
That breakfast was to be the last time I ever saw her.
The news came to me via M,my ex, whom I had refused to speak to since our painful break-up because I needed the space and time to heal. He broke the news to me via Skype as soon as I refused to pick up the phone call (I have since blocked M from my Skype too to avoid being bombarded by his other news) a few minutes just before the Christmas party at Toxic Office in 2008.
I was shocked into silence. M had found out from one of his friends, Annie. Annie and the lady from the 8th floor had a series of nasty arguments and fights involving complaints to the town council, police reports and suits over Annie's ferocious and noisy dog just across the condo block. That day, my colleagues wrongfully thought that I was not being participative in the office Christmas party when in fact I could not break the news to them.
Not knowing how to deal with the loss, I said goodbye by deleting the late neighbour from 8th floor by removing her from my Multiply and Facebook. I did not know how else to say goodbye. Z prayed for her when I asked him to, that evening itself. Z also prayed for our protection and peace.
Why did she jump that fateful day? Did she not think of the consequence on her 7 year old daughter's life? Did her Danish spouse-to-be drain her of every last drop of love, commitment and devotion that she had? Did she not see the beautiful life she had? Did she not fear or feel the love of God?
I only have questions that will never be answered. So as I say goodbye to Homey now, I also bid farewell to my late 8th floor neighbour. It has taken me a long period before I am able to blog about this incident.
**Goodbye, Rosanna. Rest in peace and God bless you always. I am sorry I was busy working when maybe at that critical point all you needed was for a friend to listen/share. Al-Fatihah, my dearest.**
I knew Rosanna & M. her Danish bf well at that time. On the day I received a telephone call from the Dane’s ex wife to say what had happened. Shocked and saddened that she would do that knowing she had a young daughter. But that was a messy relationship and since Rosanna firmly believed in reincarnation, perhaps she didn’t consider her life ending that day. Sad because she was a nice friendly person
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