When Shall I Say Yes

Salam, my lovelies.

I went for my annual Pap smear yesterday and instead of the usual "We will call you if there is any problem" standard goodbye line, I was told something new. And slightly shocking.

It seems that I have 2 growths that need to be addressed.

"It is not life threatening, but I prefer if you have them removed for biopsy"

I know.

I felt angry, disappointed, angry, desperate, angry, "why me?"

"Why me?" Part of faith is being patient. Accepting His tests without impatience and doubt. Obviously, it is my turn to take this test now.

Never mind, let's do this while we catch it early. You name it, I felt it.

The last 24 hours have been .... an emotional roller-coaster. I would not have been so reluctant to pick a date had it been a LA but this is "minor surgery but requires GA" and I have my reasonable concerns.

What can I say, other than console myself with "syukur Alhamdulillah we detected this early" or "better now than later".

If for some reason I am late to update this blog:

To Drama Queen, thank you for the juice and pat on the back yesterday.

To Mamapumpkin, we shall talk about this later when you are back from Japan. I have my reasons for not telling you right this moment as you already have too much on your plate.

To Stonor Mummy, we can have more vegetables juice soon and catch up properly as "sisters".

To She Loves Coffee, thank you for your du'a. We shall eat that K-lunch soon, insyaAllah.

To the stranger who reads and wishes to help the leukemia-stricken single mum with a child taking his UPSR this year, THANK YOU. You have no idea how grateful I am for your kind heart and generosity. May Allah swt bless you abundantly for your good deeds.

Life is worth living (cleanly and healthily). Please do not let anyone else convince you otherwise. I am telling myself this to stay positive and undo my own negative mental shackles.

May 4th.

Yes. InshaAllah.

Lots to settle between now and then. Bismillah.

Thank you, my lovelies.