Work From Home: Support Network

Salam, my lovelies.

Seven years ago, I made the decision to quit the rat race to raise a young family. It is the craziest/bravest/stupidest decision I have ever made in my life (I must confess it is actually the best and appropriate decision given my circumstances).

We have no live-in helper. No driver.

When I was pregnant with Bean, I had Kak Saras come over on weekends to help clean The Flat. She did that for a few months until after my confinement. She used to help me out when Girl was first born too. Alas, she is too old to take on cleaning jobs now, and we have yet to find someone as trustworthy and detailed as she is. If you know of a live-out cleaning lady/housekeeper, please drop me a message. Thank you.

Recently, we also contacted a live-out helper to come in for a few hours twice weekly to help with ironing. She is a real blessing and I kick myself for not engaging her sooner! Together, she and I, we fight LaundryMonster. So far so good, Alhamdulillah.

Finally, we have a professional babysitter to watch Bean for a couple of hours when I take Girl out to her piano lessons. Ms R is someone we are familiar with as she was a former teacher at The Playschool. Bean adores her, to my huge relief! They read, watch Disney DVDs, share snacks and play when I am away.

Whilst we can and want to do everything ourselves, sometimes, we just need an extra pair of hands. With a spouse recovering from surgery, and my having 3 work-from-home jobs (other than being a full-time mum and wife), I feel this is a wise move and better employment of time/skills/energy.

If you have more coping tips, please do share!

The 20 Seconds Hug

Do you have a go-to love-affirming strategy at home?

I learnt this love-affirming strategy known as the 20 Seconds Hug from Dr. Andrea Mayrhofer in a Positive Parenting Workshop in 2013.

It does take much out of me when I need a strong love-ammo to deal with sibling rivalry, amongst others. Over time, I come to appreciate that this simple method works for my stressed out spouse too.

Hug tightly. Count silently from 1-20 or say "I love you very much, baby *insert name here*."

The Little Girl was going through a rough patch emotionally after she had realised that Bean is here to stay and that she could not just return him to the hospital or stuff him back into my belly. After many doses of The 20 Seconds Hug peppered with back rubs and kisses on her cheeks, she throws hardly any tantrums now compared to before.

Bean gets his fair share of 20 seconds hugs too because he sometimes goes through separation anxiety when he is being dropped off at The Playschool, or sees me leaving home for The Big School with his elder sister.

Works 80% of the time, and is good enough for me.

My liberal dose of 20 seconds hugs at other times of the day:

- before I hit the shower/use the bathroom

- before I start any chore at the kitchen or laundry area

- before tucking The Little Girl in for the night

When I am very lucky, they give me the 20 seconds hug! You'd be surprised how long 20 seconds feels like just being present in that moment. 

14 Teeth

Bean has added a bottom right pramolar to his chewing crew. Homemade chicken popcorn gets eaten faster than ever, cooling cucumber sticks chopped off faster than I can blink.

It is sweet of him to offer to brush his own teeth as part of his evening routine. One toothbrush for him to explore with, the other for me to actually brush his 14 teeth with. Occasionally, he would refuse to place his toothbrush back or runs away with it with loud laughter, sporting a huge mischievous grin. 

We forgot we have this soothing gel to calm his teething discomfort, how silly! We used to rub some on every evening when he was cutting his incisors. Maybe we should resume...

Alhamdulillah he slept well last night, and may he sleep well for many nights to come, Amin!

13 Teeth

Bean cut 2 upper jaw canines and 1 right hand side lower canine over the past few days. 

He was clingy almost every single night, and mandatorily woke up for feeds almost every single hour.

To be honest I turned into a walking zombie, and pray this phase will be over soon. 6 teeth on the upper jaw; 7 teeth on the lower jaw. That means we are 20-13 = 7 more to go!

Jaw or gum? Argh, you know what I mean *going to catch some sleep* bracing myself for those shiny, white, pramolars!

HFMD

Bean caught the much-dreaded Hand Foot Mouth Disease. 

It started with a few reddish spots on his face which quickly spread to his scalp, over his entire body with limbs not spared. Now at day 3, he certainly looks like a spotty pink leopard. Cute, but...slightly miserable?

Poor baby. 

His appetite is about 70% of his usual, but thankfully his cheerfulness has not compromised. 

Syukur alhamdulillah he has no fever and the medical officer at PCMC had prescribed him some gingival oral spray; and calamine cream for easy application in the event Bean starts scratching at his spots.

The only "dirty" place he had been to in the last one week was his playgroup meet at Gymboree Bangsar Village. It is hard to pinpoint a single place with 100% certainty, as most parents would probably know by now (as much as we can possibly wash and sanitise everyone's hands!).

Speedy recovery to Bean, Amin!

11 teeth

Bean sprouted a couple of canines and a lower left pramolar over Shawal. We have been expecting the canines but the pramolar took me by surprise.

He had some extra dribbles, and slept mostly in my arms. No fever, syukur alhamdulillah, as we were away in York when it happened.

Fiddlesticks, fruit bars, biscotti bars and stone fruits cut into little sticks/bars are his favourite snacks at the moment. 

Self-feeds blueberries, broccoli, carrot sticks and little cubes of cooked chicken. We love how he likes exploring with taste and textures at the dinner table. Arugula, lettuce, corals, kale and countless other vegetables have passed his experiment. He loves some of those, and would ask for more. Those he dislikes, get thrown down onto the floor from his Stokke.

Today, he fell in love with taste and texture of an orange, after a few failed attempts earlier. I strongly believe in letting his try a new type of fruit and food generally, presented differently for at least a dozen times before quitting. 

What an interesting milestone for Bean! Well, at least I think so, for obvious reasons.

Bye Bye Babyhood

Bean is officially a toddler by age and by skill now.

The changing table, baby cot, extra stroller, baby carrier all seem so outgrown and outdated. 

Time to bundle them up and pass those preloved items on to my girlfriends who are expecting their respective nos. 2 and 3. 

Time flies, I am feeling all nostalgic (PMS, much?).

Goodnight, peeps.

Morning Routine

What is your morning routine like?

Here is a snapshot of mine:

7.30 am : wake The Little Girl up for Playschool on weekdays. Amazingly, she wakes up early on weekends when we can actually sleep in. Bummer for me, of course.

7.45 am : the second alarm to really get The Little Girl going if she isn't already.

8 am : breakfast. Despite the rotating menu, she nearly always just drinks goats milk and refuses to eat.

8.30 am : get her changed into her outfit and pack her water bottle into her backpack. She usually picks a toy/book of the day to accompany her. 99% of the time she wears NOT her uniform. 

8.45 am : out the door, into the lift, get her belted into the booster and start the short drive to Playschool. We usually exchange plans for the day.

9 am : drop her off at The Playschool gate, a quick hug and kiss.

9.15 am : grocery shopping and driving home to sort out lunch, laundry, cleaning up, errands, play time/feed Bean and let me just confess that this feels like the shortest morning hours ever! 

The Other Half watches Bean when I am out for the school run. On days when he has appointments, we exchange our duties so that he can out the door and not miss the appointment. Luckily for us, he can arrange the appointment time to suit our family routine so as to prevent chaos/being late.

Bean goes to Gymboree on some mornings so he too, has to be included in the morning school run. He is mostly a contented and happy toddler but you can tell he is starting to be frustrated at being strapped down safely in his car seat. So far, nursery rhymes and a small toy can still keep him entertained from KLCC to Bangsar.

In order to cope, we have a weekly meal planner, weekday discount summary at our local grocer's typed out in my mobile Notes, weekly chores planner and quite often still NOT have the time to do it all.

My biggest downfall? Facebook. 

It is sucking too much of my time and I had to leave some groups recently I order to regain some precious minutes back into my short mornings (and rest of the day, obviously).

My other downfall? Whatsapp.

Far too many messages on non-urgent matters. In fact, my phone memory got bogged down and the app just won't upload anymore. Blessing in disguise as I now regain extra minutes to relief my pressure cooker harried lifestyle.

Lunch is often simple and Bean is babyledweaning style eater who helps himself quite independently (small mess, bearable!). We then resume whatever we were doing to prepare for the afternoon. 

1.30 pm : leave home/ appointment place for Playschool to fetch The Little Girl home. If we are lucky and no one is having tantrums, solat Zuhur once we get home at about 2.15 pm.

On Fridays, we leave earlier for Playschool as I have to do a solo drive with Bean to fetch The Little Girl at 1 pm while The Other Half is at solat jumaah. Bean prefers to explore the waiting area at the Playschool and not be rushed back into his car seat too soon. Often times, it is much easier to just pick The Little Girl up straight from the gate at dismissal time and not have to leave the car at all. Rarely does Bean nap through the Friday pick up...and I have grown to somewhat expect the worst. 

Do all parents rush this way too? Does it feel stressful sometimes?

Please share your time management tips to simplify my mornings. Thank you!

Cruising

Yay! Bean is cruising at 11 months. 

He is now the proud owner of two pairs of shoes (Mothercare and Stride Rite), and is loving his newfound mobility, a few days shy of his first birthday.

Syukur alhamdulillah for such a loveable boy.

Closet Tidy & Beaba Bath Tub

We bring those on holidays with us. Yes, closet tidy and portable bath! 

Call me OCD, but the closet tidy helps us organise our clothes at hotels and serviced apartments faster, neater and easier than battling those 6 hangers and leaving the rest of our clothing to crumple over the duration of holiday.

The portable bath is steady and keeps Bean safe too. 

I know, we have a somewhat "weird" practice when travelling and holidaying. 

What is your "weird" practice? Do you pack your own towels and linen? Do share!

Baby Who Reads

Bean LOVES books. 

This is how he reads and occupies himself. No longer contented with being the passive reader of being read to in our laps, he now selects his own favourites and turns the pages himself while blabbering away the story.

Some think is the way kids read. I am happy as long as he loves books!

Stunted Sophie

Bean does not really chew on his teething ring in the shape of Sophie La Giraffe and neither does he care much for squeezing/chomping on the full size Sophie La Giraffe. 

Inadvertently, The Little Girl has claimed this adorable full size version to be hers and stuffed her into her IKEA kitchen shelf resulting in a stunted display. 

Poor Sophie!

Eczema

The Little Girl used to suffer from cow milk protein allergy which manifested in eczema. 

Ego Skin Cream kept her eczema spots moisturised and healed her rashes. We usually rub a thin film onto her dry flaky skin right after bathing her in almond shower oil from L'occitane.

Occasionally in her sleep, she had scratched on the itch so we dabbed a little calamine lotion on to take the edge off.

Wished I could have put mittens on my kitten on some nights but she had clever ways of throwing them off!

I know the agony of having to explain eczema to well-meaning strangers, neighbours and friends over and over again but sometimes taking an advice from survivors who beat this helps. 

In our case, it was a mix of the weekly sea salt bath for her and cutting down/out the allergens in my diet while I was breastfeeding her.

We had agreed to a blood test when she was 7 months old and the "culprits" were egg-white and cow's milk. Needless to say, my diet changed nearly overnight. I tried my best but it was so difficult not to be able to include those into my diet.

Miraculously, her allergies reduced when she turned 30 months old, much to my delight!

If your child has eczema, please do not give up just yet. Keep trying to find a solution that works for you and your beloved little one.

Happy healing!

Clean On The Go

Handy multi-purpose spray for families travelling with young children. 

Messy faces, hands, bottoms? Not a problem. Works wonders for us, every single time.

Just a light spray and wipe mess off with tissue paper in absence of water supply or the unfortunate event of running out if wet wipes. Love how natural spring water has so much benefits and gentle in skin too!

Dental Care

Bean has 4 teeth. Bean gets his teeth cleaned during his evening routine bath with the Banana Toothbrush. His paed is pleased as a plum that he has teeth and that some maintenance and oral hygiene care are bring employed to ensure he doesn't get any cavities as Bean now eats a fair bit.

During daytime when we happen to be out and about, he gets a wipe after meals. We were cautious at first, fearing that he would vomit his entire belly content up. However, the verbal caution of, "Let's clean your teeth. Oh, what a big  boy you are now with 4 teeth!", seems to work in our favour.

He has been willing to co-operate, thank God!

Yes, one more item to add to the diaper bag...it has evolved over the last few months to accommodate the growing needs of a young man! Books, toys, staples, food and water...but I digress. Pardon my randomness!

So, I tried the wipes on my own teeth before applying them to him as trial run. I smiled a very "fresh, just ate some grapes and smell like a baby" smile!

Now, what puzzles me is how do I clean his teeth after his direct latch feeds. The young man is asleep and I don't want to wake him up. Like duh! Sleeping through the night is like Mercy from Allah to tired parents like The Other Half and I.

How do you keep the pearly whites of your little bub clean? Do share!

Teething Gel

A pea size, rubbed on red, angry, sore gums with more teeth about to erupt any day begets a calmer baby with no broken sleep. Bliss!

What do you use to ease your little bub's gums? Please do share!

Baby Led Weaning

See www.babyledweaning.com for details, if new to this concept.

With The Little Girl, we did not apply this 100% as we were spending half the week at The House. It would have caused The Grandparents too much distress and mess, and I had too little time to wipe down everything at every meal. 

So I cheated improvised.

On days when we were at The House, I fed her purée. Life was not easy as my MIL didn't enjoy her kitchen being shared, and we have two kitchens! I ended up doing double the work by steaming, making purée and freezing them in portions to bring to The House from the then apartment. At meal times, I had the frozen cubes thawed and reheated (same amount of work and time as cooking them fresh on my Beabacook). No wonder I was so slim.

Oh, the suffering I used to bear with just because of not having my own space and freedom...but Allah s.w.t.is Kind and has removed that obstacle for me, for which I am eternally grateful!

So let me share with you how I "cheated" "improvised". 

On days when we were at our own place, I'd let The Little Girl feed herself with steamed, bite-size, "not likely to choke or gag size" food. Mostly pumpkin, carrot, broccoli, apple, pear, banana and occasionally treat of Heinz organic biscotti.

She loved it!

Messy? Well, we had the IKEA Antilop high chair. Removing the tray to be washed was relatively easy. The pelican bib was also comparatively easier to wash compared to purée mushy wet stains. Usually whatever crumbs that fell into the pelican bib was just be put through the insinkerator then the pelican bib itself wiped down and washed.

Now, I'd share with you how I further "cheated" "improvised" when out and about.

Organic jar food. Try travelling on long haul flights with nothing suitable to eat and hungry baby! Not much fun, I can confess. We brought along fresh bananas/apples with skin on. Except Australia. Nothing gets pass the immigration/quarantine. England is "more understanding" of baby needs.

In conclusion, we did not employ just one strict method. After all, eating is a mix of different cuisines requiring different skills, no? Don't be too hung up on quantity, just be sure to serve up the best quality food. No salt. No colouring. No sugar. No flavouring. No preservatives. That is a lot of NO!

My key consideration back then for The Little Girl (and will apply to Bean):

- She sure nursed through it all so I wasn't too worried about her calorie count etc. Breastmilk would have covered whatever shortfall in her diet.

- She ate breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and sometimes even supper with us.

- She pooped and peed well.

This time with Bean, I guess we will employ the same mix. Some traditional and some baby led. Depends on what we will be eating and where we will be, I guess.

Recent research point toward early weaning at 4 months but Bean is not sitting upright as yet so I am not feeding him. Simple rule - avoid choking. After all, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said not to eat lying down...

Bean has his whole lifetime ahead of him to enjoy food and drink, so why rush him when he is not ready? Chillax!

Have fun feeding your little one. May Allah s.w.t. bestow berkat to all those nutritious and delicious meals!

Teething & Flu

I have been meaning to complete the series of posts on confinement food recipe. 

However, Bean has been down with a slight flu. It impresses me that he can really sneeze, cough and clear his own throat! 

He has been refusing the cot, preferring the comfort of our warm bodies at night. That, I am not as impressed...but he needs to recover and I am praying this will not alter his sleeping habits. It was perfect the way it was!

He is drooling a lot as well as teething is well under way. Once a day, we rub a tiny spot size of Bonjela to ease his discomfort. So far, he can recognise "Bonjela time, bismillah hir Rahman nir Rahim", opens his mouth to have the dose and gives appreciative smiles after.

Let's all pray for his speedy recovery and thank you for waiting patiently for those recipes.

Toodles.

36.9?

After The Little Girl was born, SJMC did not supply us with digital thermometer so we bought a couple from Mothercare. 

After Bean was born, PCMC discharged Bean with a Terumo brand thermometer which was billed to The Other Half. Clever step! 

We now leave the light Terumo thermometer at home and carry this somewhat heavier one in the diaper bag. We find this Braun to be swifter and accurate (proximity to ear instead of arm pits).

Love the disposable cover. Useful when both kids can just share one thermometer hygienically on-the-go.

Holidays

We took our first family of 3 holiday when The Little Girl turned 2 months. We flew to Langkawi with MAS , and rented a car. Packed everything minus the kitchen sink. The Driver had to be put on duty to assist.

Then, along came Bean.

We kept to tradition and took our first family of 4 holiday when Bean turned 2 months. We drove to Penang with our own 4WD. Packed just barely enough the second time. No need to summon The Driver.

Wiser, eh?