The Chance Encounter

The annual pap smear appointment with Dr. Seri Suniza Sufian was made about 3 months ago and the appointed day finally arrived. Yes, I am  always excited to meet her.

The pleasantries were exchanged, Nurse Fiza remaining cheerful with Dr. Seri looking more radiantly youthful than ever (those air wuduq is a serious elixir of youth!).

Procedures then began as standard as it could ever be. Everything looked good in the ultrasound scan. No unplanned pregnancy, fully healed cervix, ovaries with normal follicles etc.

Kegels were good, I could even see my  pelvic muscles doing its round of exercises. Bladder control was neat. Passed with flying colours, so to speak.

The most comfortable pap smear was to follow.

Then, a little piece of surprise showed up.

Something "had casually grown on my uterus wall...something small and shiny...something abnormal like a cyst ripe enough to be pricked and its liquid contents withdrawn into a clinical syringe and had to be sent to the laboratory right away kinda something" caught her keen observation.

She advised for the pap smear to be done first, and it was noticeably comfortable as a small speculum was used, complete with a gentle swab which felt like an ant bite with no embarrassing or strong protests from myself.

With that agenda of the day out of the way, she presented my treatment options.

We decided very quickly as impromptu and quietly as the cyst had grown, to have it removed there and then with just local painkiller. Some light bleeding followed, sufficient to be taken care of by panty liner. No medications, no hospital stay, no antibiotic. It went as swiftly as it had come. I paid, then drove home with the rest of the day being up and about as if had nothing happened.

Life goes on.

No news is good news.

I am praying so hard it is benign, with nothing more to worry about. If it is malignant, I will have plenty to worry about with my family and children being so young. Thank you also for your kind du'a.

Moral of the story is: Annual pap smear. Please do not overlook this simple self-care step. Book your appointment already!

Retrospective Wisdom: Post Natal Depression

I was suffering from PND after the birth of The Little Girl. During confinement and many months after, I was perpetually tired, easily upset, hyper-sensitive and filled with crippling negativity.

The Little Girl had colic, and we didn't know what to do. The Little Girl would not sleep through the night, and we didn't know what to do. The Little Girl had cow milk protein intolerance, and we didn't know what to do. The Little Girl had stork marks on her forehead between her brows, and we didn't know what to do.

I felt disabled.

 

I felt stupid.

 

I felt useless.

What set me off? Hormones, physically being confined to the limited space upstairs at The House without wifi for 44 days, being dictated by my well-meaning MIL who came across as hovering helicopter, erratic meal times which suited my MIL and not my hunger after breastfeeding, not having time to shower, close friends who could not visit, acquaintances who overstayed their welcome, etc. Almost every small thing set me off. It was painful.

 

Then one day, after 13 months, the fog lifted.

 

We were away for a Spring family holiday in Yorkshire during the Royal Wedding and magically, just like that, I could savour my mocha from Starbucks again, one fine Spring morning. It was a blindingly beautiful morning.

It was like a new lease of life.

 

Just like that, Allah s.w.t. healed me, and reminded his humble servant of how beautiful life really is and that life with all its busyness is also worth persevering for. Patience is a huge part of faith, indeed.

 

Retrospective Wisdom: I learnt early on after the second delivery and confinement to surround myself with lots of positive affirmation of what I do well, ignore the negative remarks and focus on how perfect The Little Girl and Bean are. The Other Half is a true gem in braving this storm with me, including the many tedious solo trips to shop for my downsize clothing. There was a tough period we had to spend more time with The Little Girl in reassuring her of our love and affection (that Bean is not a threat but her loving younger brother) but I knew deep inside my heart, that was not PND. Not even close.

 

How did you handle your PND? Was it tough? How long did it last? How did you recover? When did you realise that you had come out of it? Did you get any clinical help? Do share! 

Gratitude: Pre-pregnancy Body

Today I am thankful for the return of my pre-pregnancy body.

I was hovering at 52 kg for the last few months and felt like another 4 kg off would be nice (I wanted to feel like I can perform my tashahud seating comfortably, feel more energised and lean, lose the baby flab, lose the sluggish feeling, have glowing hair and skin, a whole lot of other reasons).

 

Obviously, something had to be done and I made the pact with a group of awesome ladies to eat healthily.

Sugar was the first to be sent off the list. No more Milo and Horlicks for now. Coffee and tea for me are much better off sans sugar anyways. 2L of water is now 4L of water daily. Does wonders for milk supply too.

 

Since sugar is off the list, baking cookies and loaves with The Little Girl had to be adopted as well to something less sugary.

Since rice has high carbohydrate content, we sent our brown rice off the list for a few days of the week. We were not eating much brown rice all that often anyways but now it is almost zero. Cous cous and quinoa are our new best friends.

Pasta? Bye bye. One of the easiest and fastest meals to whip up in my kitchen is now served to only The Little Girl when she specifically requests for her favourites (mac 'n cheese, carbonara, pasta bake, Bolognese, pesto).

Potatoes? Airfried.

Sweet potatoes? Airfried.

Salads made a huge comeback to our diet. We eat all colours of the rainbow again. Very satisfying to regain clean taste buds. Vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds tossed with some extra virgin olive oil or lemon juice and Manuka honey. No store bought dressing.

By now, you would have realised that we have become the accidental organic vegans. Protein sources from quinoa, lentils, beans, tofu, milk, nuts and cheese are so plentiful that we hardly miss meat, chicken, seafood. Watch Food, Inc. and you will see what I see too.

That was just food and drinks.

Exercise. Gosh! Try handling 2 kids under 5 without a helper. Lifting weights, 8+ kg and 15+kg every time, at Gymboree. No kidding. They do bestow the most appropriate name for that happy place.

Housework. Some naysayers claim that housework does not count. Come to my humble abode and witness yourself if it counts. Especially when one of the kids vomits. At midnight. Onto the bed, floor and wallpaper covered walls.

There, it took me 39 weeks and 3 days to my big, pregnant body growing another life within me, and 230 days to return to my old clothes with a  healthy baby in my arms. I feel like myself again. This weight loss has done my soul so much good.

I repeat: I feel like myself again, alhamdulillah!

 

Occasionally, we do dine out, or indulge with extended family members. This balances life out, and we do not feel the slightest deprivation. Consistency is key, so commitment to health is important.

How has your journey been? Do share!

Post Natal Hair Loss

Hair, hair, hair everywhere but on my head!

Just kidding, I still have some hair left under my headscarf. However, clogged bath drainer signs that a big cat lives here !

Enter Kao Magic Dry Mop and its refillable fibre insert. Like magic, I can pick up hair and dust in a jiffy. Note: This is not an advertorial. I am just a happy consumer. I started in 1998 for pet cat hair and just never quit since. Good for all dry surfaces, I love how it satiates my cleaning mojo!

As for the clogged bath drainer, long bamboo satay sticks and disposable gloves both are indispensable arsenal to have.

Looks like I have new hair growth and hairstyle to look forward to *staying positive*.

How do you deal with your post natal hair loss? Do you get it at all?