Start of T2 AY2021/22 and Omicron Uncertainties

Salam my lovelies,

Please pardon my being away from this blog. As a family, we have been making an effort to stay offline to make time for our in person presence with The Grandparents. This long drawn pandemic is starting to feel a wee bit harder than it was as we now battle the raging Omicron. Luckily, Girl and Bean have received their first dose of vaccination and we cannot wait till the next dose. Whilst we understand vaccination is not 100% protection, we also understand that reduction in symptoms and complications from infection are key to their wellbeing. I know I would feel less anxious about letting them attend school in person if they have been fully vaccinated.

School has been most supportive with offering them online schooling option even when in person lessons are available. This hybrid mode has been key in our recent "circuit breaker" for 3 days and co-existence with the virus so far. Personally, we have 6 more weeks of this to contend with and we shall review our family coping strategy again in early April. April because it will be the second dose vaccination appointment for Girl and Bean. By then, Term 2 would have come to its tail end and we hope to start Term 3 with more confidence!

On the bright side, Girl and Bean have both attended 100% of all their online lessons and we are so proud of their resilience. Their discipline in being punctual with the attendance register, access to lessons, attention and diligence have surpassed all our expectations. They keep producing satisfactory, quality work and remain happy with the occasional healthy expression of "When is it safe to go out again?" or "Can we go swimming today?" Usually, we take them out to the park.

Bean is still getting 2 hours of extra help with his English language (he is a native speaker but can do better with structure and sequence). He also keeps a two online playdates per month with his friends from Early Autism Project Malaysia. Girl spends 3 hours weekly with her artistic gymnastics coach and fellow gymnasts. They both still take piano lessons once weekly. Looking at these detailed breakdown makes me realise that they do get sufficient outside world contact, albeit done online, for now. That is also why I have not signed them on to any extra activities on top of their school CCA. Down time is crucial too.

Like most families in our community, we take calculated risks during occasional outing to the quiet, clean and relatively safer local malls. These sporadic meals at a family café and window shopping allow us all some form of semblance to our pre-COVID19 lives. Strict compliance to SOPs have worked in our favour so far, Syukur Alhamdulillah. Daily park and play time allows us some much needed fresh air and sunshine, I cannot highlight this enough. There is no denying that we miss our aeroplane travels so that is definitely still in our bucket list. Something to look forward to!

Here is wishing everyone our very best belated wishes for 2022. Stay safe, my lovelies.

Term 3 AY2020/21

Salam my lovelies,

Girl and Bean commenced Term 3 AY2020/21 on 12th April 2021 for in-person learning but we quickly made a family decision to keep them learning online soon afterwards when the number of new COVID-19 cases in Selangor kept rising. We have been self-isolating since. Thank goodness for work-from-home and online purchases, without which, self-isolation would have been near impossible.

Both Girl and Bean miss being out and about but have come to accept this as their way of life. They look forward to life as they knew it pre-pandemic and we often have heart-to-heart talk as to when that may be possible again. Perhaps with new adjustments.

They resumed the final second half of Term 3 after Eid/mid-term break and are now well into preps for GL Assessments. Due to MCO3.0 and FMCO, all their school events will be held online. We are looking forward to a series of webinars this week on inclusion policy, GL Assessments and oral health for families during pandemic. June and July look packed with transition classes, parent-teacher conferences, Sports Day and International Week. 

Bean will have a couple of projects for Family Day this year at Early Autism Project Malaysia, albeit on a smaller scale compared to last year. He is learning independently for most part now and we only assist with printing, the occasional hiccup of broken wifi connection and submission of assignments. His English Tutor from Inception Learning Space (fully online) has worked out well and we are grateful as he now has better self-esteem in speaking up during his lessons, especially to ask for help. Thank goodness for both EAP Malaysia and Inception Learning Space!

We do not have a proper plan for summer break yet as we are still unsure of how FMCO will pan out. We hope to add a bit more to our roof-deck space for some summer fun especially in the morning when it is at its coolest. It is definitely time to brainstorm and plan ahead if we wish to enjoy some breathtaking sunset view there. 

In parting, we would like to encourage our local/Malaysian readers to self-isolate, practice self-lockdown and bring the number of cases down as we did before. Stay safe, my lovelies!

Term 2 of Academic Year 2019/20

Salam my lovelies,

Almost an entire academic term has gone by and I have some brief updates to share.

Firstly, we have commenced fading off shadow support for Bean. It is a milestone for us both as a family and School! His therapist now stands outside his classroom briefly before moving to outside his CCA room then transition home for an hour of debrief and ABA therapy. His official ABA time ends with reward of (usually) 30 minutes of screen time on iPad (with a bonus of 60 minutes TV time while parents cook/shower/get the household ready for bed time). The TV bonus time is not something we are proud of at the moment so we have been nudging Bean to return to board games and outdoor play, weather permitting. He has been a hero throughout. Bless.

Along the lines of neuro-diversity, the School is receiving more students requiring learning support and our aim is to shift the conversation/narrative amongst parents to that of being a community that supports neuro-diversity instead of negative focus on unexpected behaviours (when exhibited). A talk by Director of EAP Malaysia is in the pipeline after COVID-19 social distancing.  I am truly grateful for the opportunity to arrange for this shift of community narrative to one that is focussed on knowledge, science, proactive support and unconditional love. We must leave unproductive coffee talk and negative banter behind. Wish me luck, my lovelies!

Secondly, Girl is excited to have auditioned and succeeded in getting a speaking/singing/dancing role in the inaugural school musical production. This is significant to her because when we left her previous school, we were not entirely sure of the standards of performing arts at this new school. We were not sure if is was going to be "professional" or "Malaysian Book of Records"-worthy. We persevered and so did the Principal together with Head of Performing Arts. Now, Girl is happily rehearsing, raising funds and anticipating a new stage arriving in time for their first annual musical production. One of the best memories we are creating is ... daughter of my former schoolmate is the lead character in this musical! Being able to witness our children rehearse together and inshaAllah perform together this June is surreal. Hopefully by then, social distancing due to COVID-19 is behind us.

The calendared Swimming Gala has been postponed. Games meet in Singapore has been cancelled too.

We have one mural art pending, and this lull has given us longer time to rethink the scope, location and method.

International Week celebrations have been scaled down to minimal participation from parents. We will be sending in washed handmade flags and materials but no food this year. Bean's class will be hosting France and Girl's class will be hosting Republic of Ireland. We have a good amount of cheese from both countries as we had purchased them in early March. Luckily for us we love cheese and often serve cheese platter at supper! Perhaps all that freed-up time will avail me to spring-cleaning, baking, gradening and catching up on reading.

Students will continue to learn. Home-schooling  and distance learning modules are being tested out as we brace ourselves for the worst of this unforeseen pandemic.

COVID-19 has definitely slowed down or postponed some events at School, including those planned by the PTA. We have been creative in our newsletter content the past few weeks. Video compilation of past events, interviews and documents were shared instead of event photos now that there is no event...

We are proud to say that the School has been diligent with temperature checks at drop-off and pick-up, and insisting on us all washing our hands as frequently as possible. Where necessary, travel and contact history were recorded with consent for community safeguarding. Hand sanitisers are everywhere at school. A clear SOP and policy on this subject has been published. We constantly get reassuring updates from the Principal too. So far, alhamdulillah, no cases at our community. We pray for His continued protection and blessings. Aamiin. 

Have a lovely few months ahead and stay safe, my lovelies!

Academic Year 2018/19

Salam my lovelies,

Both Girl and Bean have fully settled into The Big School, alhamdulillah. They have learnt and achieved so much in this short span of time. Highlights of Term 3 include Kindness Week, Book Week, Eid Assembly, Earth Ranger Awareness, International Day, Sports Day and Speech Day. It feels great to be included in the Activity Leaders group of parent volunteers. The Other Half and I (as well as The Grandparents!) have been actively participating or contributing in ways and areas we enjoy.

Here is a short summary of various events in a few sentences to capture our memories and also to give those who are school-hunting a glimpse into The Big School (beyond scheduled school tours and Open Days):

1. Book Week

Parents were invited to read to Bean's Year 1 class. I volunteered to read "Duck! Rabbit!" to Bean's class with hint of inclusion-policy and introduction to theory of mind. A few other parents read in Japanese, Korean, Malay and Mandarin. We had the most attentive audience, for sure!

The students and teachers were asked to choose a book character they each like, and come dressed as their favourite character on Book Day. Girl picked "Belle" (from "Beauty and the Beast") whilst Bean selected "Captain America" (from Marvel Comics). They were given activities related to their characters too. The event included a parade of the characters during Assembly time. Students and parents wow-ed at Principal who came dressed as a Victorian Headmaster, Head of Secondary who had picked "Cruella" from "101 Dalmatians", and Head of Primary who came dressed as "Jedi" from "Star Wars". Most memorable was Bean's Homeroom Teacher who won Best Dressed Character as "Mary Poppins". Overall a fun engagement throughout the week!

2. Eid Assembly

The ensemble showcased young, budding talents. It was not a full-blown concert we were used to seeing at The Former school. This particular Eid Assembly had a genuine element where you know the students have been stretched to their limits given the short hours in the midst of year end assessment. As a consequence, the items they presented come across as "raw" or "unplugged". Short choreography and rehearsals time on a modular stage means we will have a lot to work on in the performing arts department, hooray! One outstanding feature was the mass sing-along/karaoke of "Selamat Hari Raya". Everyone joined in cultural and language immersion for that 4 minutes. Overall a fun gig and plenty of growth opportunities going forward, inshaAllah.

3. Earth Rangers

Seed Round for plant and cash drive by the Earth Rangers at School saw 5 potted tropical plants from The Grandparents' garden being sent to School. Another generous cash contribution was made on Bean's birthday week in June to mark his 6th birthday. May Bean grow safe, happy and successful, Aamiin! The event peaked with a "Save the Malayan Tiger" mural by students, parents, and a teacher who is leaving for another school at the end of her contract this term. The garden area is now lush as new plants have arrived, purchased using cash donation from entire school. What a beautiful living legacy!

4. International Day

Girl's class worked on "Indonesia" while Bean's class represented "China". It was so wonderful to see both classes full of enthusiastic parents who brought these countries to life and presented in such organised manner. Throughout the week, each class had a parent volunteer to present a short lesson on the country (I presented Indonesia, and made a conscious effort to dispel misconception about Indonesia being limited to supply of foreign labour and Malaysia's extended plantation land!). Collectively, we put up a small class exhibition and a booth with plenty of Indonesian delicacies during food bazaar. Bean's class was transformed into Chinatown and the food bazaar table featured Shanghainese staple food and drinks. The photographs and videos all turned out amazing! Some of the other countries featured this year included Poland, USA, Australia, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, South Korea, Italy, India, Ukraine and The Philippines. The event ended with a parade that brought music, haka and United Nations-style march to life. Alhamdulillah for such a wonderful exposure.

5. Talent Showcase
Bean joined an ensemble and performed Baby Shark on his ukulele! We were so proud of him for participating to the best of his ability as he had only recently picked the instrument up. The Big School is full of different talents. We had artistic gymnasts, Rubik cubes geniuses, pianist extraordinaire and rock band. It was akin to watching an episode of "America's Got Talent"! 

6. Sports Day

Girl and Bean had theirs on different days, luckily so. The Other Half and I served as parent volunteers. So glad we did because the students had 8 activities and the field had been transformed to a mini Olympics! Year 6 students served as time keepers, coaches were referees and parents chipped in manpower. There were javelin, discus, 100 m dash, egg-on-spoon, potato sack race, hurdles and long jump events. The Sports Award was separately held on second last day of school and it was such a happy celebration of sportsmanship.

7. Speech Day

Academic year 2018/19 ended on 12 July 2019 with Speech Day. Bean completed his Year 1 in one term. No small feat for him and we are thankful for all the support he has been receiving since before he enrolled here. He is being promoted to Year 2 this September. Girl scored herself Growth by Learning prize for English and another for Leading Through Innovation in Music and Art. She is being promoted to Year 5 this September. Bravo to both Girl and Bean!

Our journey with Early Autism Project Malaysia is notable too. They have conducted presentations to the entire Big School during Kindness Week, trained the teaching faculty, and assisted in setting up SENCO support at School. Bean was also included in the Family Day 2019 presentation at PJ Live Arts Centre on 6th of July 2019. 58 children on the spectrum performed "The Greatest Show" successfully. Many happy tears from happy families were shed that day. Bless.

We are going to stay put for this entire summer to facilitate Bean's ABA therapy sessions of 35 hours per week. Bean also just started 1:1 Yamaha Music Course so weekly 30-minutes piano lessons are in store for him. Girl has more piano and keyboard skills to catch up on since her new Yamaha JNC Class is more driven and her new teacher delivers lessons that spiral deeper. There are also some interesting Helen O'Grady speech and drama school, gym and art class we want to explore.

Both children have also been asked to prep for next academic year by The Big School. We will be balancing all these hard work with hosting play dates, social group plays and fun outings. Work smart, play hard. Our aim is to not rob our children of their childhood. We are just glad Girl and Bean both understand an expensive summer holiday abroad this year is not affordable. 

Here is wishing you a great summer break and see you again in September, inshaAllah!

Transitioning

Salam my lovelies,

We have been busy!

Transitioning is an active, fluid phase and we as a family is experiencing this process. So far, alhamdulillah, we are taking it in bite size daily although there are certain days when it can all feel overwhelming with heat/exhaustion/traffic. Good self-care skills for each and every one of us are vital!

Girl is doing double academic work, both from The Big School and The New School. There are obvious continuity and convenience despite being in two schools, as both are using British Curriculum. There are some differences in materials for Mathematics, French and Malay. We encourage her to embrace and appreciate the learning curve with our home tutoring support. We do as much as she can cope using whatever pockets of time we can carve out. So far, we have had not pushed ourselves that much so as not to burn her out.

Perhaps, the reason of my chillax mode is exhaustion. We have all been fully utilising all our available time and resources to put the new home ready in time for the relocation to be close to The New School. The Other Half supervises the work that is on-going at the new abode, while I do the paperwork (budget and finalizing quotations), research (so much to admire on Instagram and finding an affordable/available option) and purchases (driving, negotiating, loading, and sometimes pick-up of smaller items). Tick tock, the relocation date is looming close.

Girl had to follow me on some occasions after school. She loves interior design and has ambitions to be one since two years ago so she is truly enjoying this valuable process. Whilst she has her dreams up with the stars and clouds, her feet are firmly rooted (especially when it comes to choosing the most practical/affordable/child-safe materials be it curtains or kitchen backsplash). Bless her!

Bean has weekdays ABA therapy at home from 2:30 p.m. to 5:15 p.m. so I have been taking him home 3 days a week from The Big School by 1 p.m. That also means I have limited shopping time between 10 a.m. to noon. He gets into the bath tub to clean up and cool down as soon as we arrive home. He works best by timer so after 20 minutes of soak, he gets his change of clothes then eat a snack (fruits, usually) before his therapist arrives. So far, he has not missed any sessions as the team from EAP is reliable. There is always someone from the rotation pool. He has grown really fond of his Senior Supervisor, Supervisor and one of his three therapists. 

There is still some task avoidance and communication challenges but overall, we have experienced marked improvements in his quality of verbal output, eye contact, co-operation and attendance (lessons at reading class, The Big School and therapy). It is nice to be able to eat meals without the device on all the time. His meal norm is now actually engaging with members of the family (especially Sunday lunches with The Grandparents) and friends (during meals at The Big School). Reviews are fortnightly so we are constantly on the feedback-action plan-execute cycles. Alhamdulillah for this early intervention.

His EAP Team has visited and met with his teacher at The New School. There will be another visit in April before the start of Term 3 for his Personal Learning Assistants/Shadow Aides to familiarise themselves with time-table, locations of lessons and activities etc. Social stories will be prepared so as to set his expectations/predictability and reduce stress for everyone.

Girl is turning 9. I pray she gets the best in this life and the next. There are some symptoms of hormonal changes leading to emotional outbursts occasionally so we make it a point to exhibit our love and support as well as open communication. Mother: Daughter 1:1 dates are crucial, as are her Father: Daughter 1:1 school pick-up. She is a supportive sibling so we do not ever want her to feel like she is getting any less love or attention just because Bean seems to get more by virtue of the additional attention from his therapists. It is a delicate balance so wish us luck!

Till the next update, please take good care.

The Combo Plan

Salam my lovelies,

Alhamdulillah January 2019 had been a busy and productive month.

Bean attended his Observation Class at Plan B school on 16 January 2019 (Wednesday) and for one whole hour, he was observed in a Year 1 class with a teacher, a teaching assistant and an Admissions Officer. He understood what was expected of him IQ-wise but some social cue such as raising hands to inform class teacher that he had completed his worksheet needs guidance. He gently knocked on wood (table) instead of raising his hands and verbally informing the teacher he was ready for the next activity.

The Admissions Officer informed us that he read some random English test words for his age group, did addition and subtraction as well as IQ worksheets. She was most surprised that his Math is good for his age. At recess, he obediently lined up and went for breakfast with fellow classmates. When we met up with him and the teacher, the teacher's feedback was that he is ready for Year 1 with a shadow aide to assist with social and behavioral cues. Huge sigh of relief all around! We sincerely hope that the same teacher will be his class teacher as she was just the most pleasant lady and a joy to converse with.

His reward that day was getting to play at the Early Years playground. Well deserved!

Soon after, Girl and Bean were allotted their Placement Assessments on  24 January 2019 (Thursday). Bean came out bouncing happily just after half an hour and the Registrar's feedback was that he answered as expected for his age group. Girl sat down for 1.5 hours to complete her online CAT4 by GL Assessment. The Registrar mentioned that her results were good so with some guidance from Plan B school, she will excel. InshaAllah.

The Letter of Offer was issued the following day on 25 January 2019 (Friday). The Other Half and I wasted no time in accepting it and we have since made arrangements for relocation. InshaAllah everything will fall in place.

We have informed The Big School of the children's withdrawal on 25 January 2019 (Friday) and relieved that timeline for everything has been impeccably punctual. Thank you for all your kind wishes and sincere prayers. May Allah swt bless you for your kind hearts.

The Big School is a bittersweet experience (present tense as we are still enrolled until end of Term 2) and as I saw both Girl and Bean performed on stage for CNY Assembly a couple of days ago, I felt immensely blessed and thankful for everything. The modular stage at Plan B school may not be as grand but looking at the big picture, we know we are going to an overall better school that fits us as a family, inshaAllah.

Being the excited mother who wants her children to be prepared, I have ordered and paid for the books they will need. I am sincerely hoping that they will both transition smoothly with all the help we are getting from Early Autism Project Malaysia.

As for now, we are going to take a few days' break ushering in the new lunar year. Gong Xi Fa Cai and safe travels. Happy holidays!

Sleepless and the City

Salam my lovelies,

I am worried about making the wrong move. 

I am anxious about moving away from my comfort zone which has a great location and view of the KLCC. 

When I think of the greater good for the children's wellbeing for the present and next 10 to 15 years, I am more assured that this will be a choice for their quality of life, not just academic.

In a few hours, the two little ones will be taking their placement assessment at Plan B - a school that supports learning differences (thus allowing Bean shadow aide support for transition) in the morning followed by a kick-off meeting with an important element to all our plans - EAP Malaysia in the afternoon. The Grandparents will be joining us at EAP Malaysia meeting which goes to show how much they truly care for Bean. Alhamdulillah for that. 

The solicitor for the property close to Plan B wrote to us asking for a decision by a certain date. InshaAllah once Plan B decides to have us (or not), we can trigger the necessary steps.

The Big School has yet to reply us about waiver of notice period for Girl. They had offered Bean a refund of Deposit without notice period of one full term. We need to sort this out so that they can both be at the same school at the same commencement date without us losing our Deposit for Girl. It is not something we want to give up without following-up either. We shall see, as this is also contingent upon Plan B results.

It is all quite overwhelming but I feel so much better as I am writing this. May my juice be fresh and my black coffee strong enough to carry me through the day without jitters.

One day at a time.

May letting go and complete trust in His Will be easy upon us. Amin.

Plan C and Beyond

Salam my lovelies,

Remember how The Grandparents shot down the school we listed as Plan C? I followed up with Nexus International School (nicknamed Plan C in my earlier posts) and turns out that they do not have a spot for Bean for his year group either. The framework is basically one child with special education needs in each class. We are not so sure if a school visit is still warranted, although they were ever so willing to enroll Girl.

A tiny piece of good news is that we may move on to Plan D and that is to consider an intensive Applied Behaviour Analysis program at Early Autism Project Malaysia (EAP) then let Bean rejoin his current school once his ABA program is done (since a shadow aide is not allowed into The Big School). 

We have an initial screening coming up to tailor his 1-to-1 ABA this week. The time frame he commences at EAP is also to be discussed so we can inform and discuss with The Big School how long Bean will vacate and when we expect to return. 

Considering EAP is quite comprehensive, we have served notice to stop hippotherapy for now so we can better gauge efficacy of ABA, touted to be the gold standard in early intervention and proven many times over to have worked.

What we like about Plan D so far:

1. Girl does not have to change schools. 

2. We do not have to relocate.

3. EAP is close to The Big School so school runs can be tweaked to suit our needs.

Then again, if Plan B is offered:
1. Take Bean out of The Big School and immediately commence EAP before Plan B with shadow aide from EAP kicks in this September 2019.
2. Both kids will be in the same school come September 2019.
3. Relocate to be 400m walking distance from school.

Wish us luck!

Plan B

Salam my lovelies,

Life is about how we handle Plan B (or C or D and so on and so forth...)

On the day of observation class at Plan B school, Bean came down with fever and so we had to postpone his application process to January 2019 when the class becomes available again.

17 December 2018: I needed a short siesta so I set my phone to silent mode. When I woke up, I saw an email from St. Joseph's Institution (also nicknamed Plan A). Bla bla bla "we currently do not have the resources to meet the needs of Bean" and I felt my hot tears well up. The rest of the email courtesy and content did not matter anymore as the time frame is also not promised. It seemed final. The fact that Bean's name was misspelt indicated to me how little attention was paid to detail. Oh, well.

My hands shook so much I nearly dropped my iPhone. I then cried. I cried because that was Plan A. It hurt a little for a short while. The non-refundable RM750 for Girl's application did not even matter anymore. Fact was The Bigger School did not even charge for Bean's "application". I missed the red flag?

Cathartic effect soon followed. Alhamdulillah because all the hurdles we did not foresee that were associated with Plan A just melted away. Like Allah swt had just lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. I was so glad I no longer had to wait till January 2019 just to receive this piece of news. I forwarded the email on to The Other Half and The Grandparents, then gently broke the news to Girl and Bean.

Girl was jubilant! Bean was indifferent, understandably so. They both continued playing as they were before.

As of today, I am thankful Girl no longer has to be in contact with a couple of her former classmates who had already left The Big School for Plan A. They used to belittle and boycott her when she refused to play along their silly games and for choosing to sit with "the girl no one was allowed to sit with" at recess. Alhamdulillah for her kind heart, really.

I am thankful Bean will have something better in store for him. Allah swt is the Best Planner. We do not know yet which is the best plan but He will reveal in time, inshaAllah. We can only move on to Plan B or other plans and pray for the best.

The booking at a serviced residence from Plan A firstly had to be cancelled. It was straight forward 20% forfeiture and 2% credit card charges of the booking sum of RM5000. Total loss: RM1100.

Before parting, the sales executive fed us a piece of gold nugget news. There may be one courtyard villa under developer's unit that may be available for sale within walking distance of Plan B. Yes, it is a common developer. Clever master development plan they have.

When we arrived at the property gallery, we found out that the developer had 2 units left at that point of time as another unit's loan processing was unsuccessful. A quick buggy ride and viewing later, we were slightly more convinced that perhaps Plan B was not going to be as bad as we had imagined.

The courtyard villa is a short walking distance to the school gate. The built-up living space is big enough for us four. There is a central park with man-made lake and the kids love the playground. The courtyard villa comes with a rooftop garden and 5 car park lots (not that we have that many cars but extra space is always useful!). A booking was placed the following day after we slept over it (or rather could not sleep from the excitement of the prospects) and by convention, the choice was vetted by The Grandparents who were excited enough to tag along to review both Plan B School and House.

Plan B was such a gem for obliging a school tour on short notice. It was as detailed as it could possibly be given that the only staff around were from reception and admission offices. Girl and I had been once before during an Open Day so it was more for Bean and the rest. Bean cried towards the end because he really wanted to play at the Early Years playground but it was raining and the gate was shut. He finally settled down when we promised a cold treat and indoor play gym at a mall close by.

Now, we just have to wait for January 2019 to roll in with an observation class date for Bean. Admission Officer is confident Girl will be just fine and she will be processed as a tag along sibling with CAT4 by GL Assessment to his application inshaAllah. No application fees have been paid so far and we were given two sets of forms to fill. I feel a bit like a mother goose sitting on her unhatched eggs, to be honest.

Sincerely praying everything will fall into place come January 2019.

School and House Hunting

Salam my lovelies,

I admit that I have been Girl-centric in all my 2012 school hunts prior to Bean's condition being discussed. Heck, Bean was not even born until 2013 so I do not blame myself. The Big School has been near perfect in terms of academic rigour, sportsmanship and performing arts with so much more for Girl. The right location, syllabus, CCA, performing arts, sports, support network and fees far outweighs the minor discomfort every now and then.

In fact, Reception this academic year for Bean has been near perfect because he is learning in a Reggio Emilia environment with classmates he has known since pre-Reception. The Reggio Emilia environment has not deviated from the DNA of The Big School in terms of mind, body and soul.

So what changed?

Why are we even school hunting again?

The answer is simple.

The Big School does not have the structure to support learning differences. It does not allow any shadow aides into its premises. Said so by the Principal after consultation with Chairman of The Big School. My witnesses were The Other Half and Principal of Early Years (who personally believes and supports Bean whole-heartedly and has pleaded with us to let Bean finish up the academic year with her, bless!).

One of the suggestions from the Principal is to hold Bean back in Reception until he is ready before he goes to Year 1. But we have already done so, and The Grandparents are not keen this time. The Grandparents fully believe and support that applied behavior analysis (ABA) with hippotherapy, Bean will be able to cope in Year 1 at a school that nurtures learning differences.

To cushion the blow, the Principal agreed to waive notice period for Bean at The Big School (without the same waiver for Girl, so we have to serve notice on or before 31 March 2019).

I had compiled comparison for 3 shortlisted schools and presented it to The Grandparents and The Other Half. The spreadsheet is quite detailed, as I wanted to cover as many factors as possible for the benefit of Girl and Bean. Out of the 3, they agreed with my preferred choice for St. Joseph Institution Malaysia as Plan A.

GEMS International School Tropicana Metropark was Plan B. It is a newly built school with proven track record overseas since 1959.

Nexus International School was Plan C. This option was quickly shot down and they did not even want to consider it (despite Plan C being touted as most supportive of students with learning differences). It turned out that there was no available spot for Bean when I asked, so we had that crossed-out.

Last weekend, they spent their precious Sunday morning with us 4 at Plan A. They attended the presentation, asked questions, went on school tour and endorsed my shortlisting. Luckily, they understood my "impulse" payment of application fees before the November Malaysian Private International School Education Fair. The Grandad and I were in public mission schools before so the DNA of Plan A is something familiar and not frightening per se.

We went to lunch after that school tour and I presented a relocation option suggestion. They went, they saw and they got The Other Half to place a conditional booking at Dianthus, Tropicana Petaling Jaya. It was a smaller unit, no bath tub, no ironing room, no surau, no fourth bathroom - but a mere 3 minutes from Plan A. Can you imagine how much time/petrol/toll we can save for the next 13 years? Well, the conditional booking has a minimal non-refundable sum of RM1000 and 2% credit card service charge in the event The Bigger School does not offer Bean a place by end of January 2019. We have time to hunt for alternative relocation options, really.

That is exactly what I have been doing the entire week since. Property Guru, iProperty and Waze apps are my current highly used apps. Viewing appointments of bigger units at Tropicana Grande, compiling options, presentation for discussion with family on repeat mode. Different tab to be added to the spreadsheet, just for clarity and expansion. Both Plan A and Plan B locations are covered for good measure.

When I count my blessings, I always include my Belang Moms.They are lovingly supportive friends and their prayers are greatly appreciated. Without them, I would have slipped into sadness, fatigue or even depression with all the weight that is on my shoulders at the moment. Even The Grandparents have opened up to their network of friends to discuss early intervention and such. Bless.

To be honest, we as a family never saw the challenges for someone like Bean until recently. We are so used to designs and plans for a neurotypical world. We acknowledge this time that Girl may have to uproot herself from The Big School and start over but she already has friends in Plan A (they left The Big School in 2016 and 2017!). Hopefully, we hear favourable news and that transition to new school and possibly home, be smooth.

Our acceptance and empathy to embrace Bean holistically have set in. As family, we want to facilitate ease for him as much as possible without breaking his sense of independence or freedom. We do not intend to cut open the cocoon just to force our butterfly to spread its wings before it is ready. Far from it. We wish to better nurture the process so he can eventually spread his wings and fly strong. Metaphorically speaking, of course. 

All that, with minimal disruption or negative impact on Girl. We still afford her the best that we can possibly can for her best interest. In fact, she is beginning to see Plan A as the better school for her in the long term. She has some performing art teachers in Plan B so she is not too fussed, bless. In fact, she did her school tour with me one weekend and was one of the best dates we had. Her views were valid and honest. Bean has a trial class/assessment at Plan B next Monday so we hope that is a safety net we can fall back on if Plan A does not go well.

Having said that, Allah swt is The Best of Planners and we offer this up to Him. Please do pray for everything to work out and that Allah swt will grant us ease in our journey. Amin.

Abbreviations

So this journey of abbreviations of ours started just before the kids broke for Summer 2017 holidays. It is now Autumn 2018 as I compose this.

Sometime in Spring 2018, an acquaintance of mine, a fellow mother at The Big School, posted a video on her Facebook wall about parents who missed the early diagnosis of their children for autism and the video contained this uncanny flapping of the hands (stimming) which is one of the red flags or indicators of children with autism. It goes on to conclude that not all stimming is autism but it is better to screen and introduce early intervention, than not.

Something in me reactivated. 

I was supposed to follow up with Baby & Beyond for a screening appointment for Bean sometime in 2018. I had made that request in Summer 2017. We got on the wait list soon after Bean's class teachers at The Playschool had dropped the bomb on us during our exit meeting after we had served notice of leaving back in 2017 that they suspect he may be autistic. It was the wrong message at the wrong time with the wrong people and deserves its own post. They had him enrolled for 30 months and never once hinted or indicated to us that he may be on the spectrum so to funnel us to another business entity with common directors for occupational therapy sounded really sinister to us.

What happened after that exit meeting was instead of serving out the notice period of one term before Bean joined The Big School, we took him out immediately and had our deposit forfeited for short notice. I can tell you it was worth every cent forfeited.

When he joined The Big School, it was a smaller class with better teacher:student ratio. In fact, he improved so much that I decided it was fine for me to return to workforce.

Boy, was I wrong.

In the 6 months I was a working mum, Bean regressed, symptoms-wise. He started to stutter (something new), slept irregularly (something new), became more rigid (no one else is allowed to press the lift button including strangers), became more fixated (cars, superheroes) and became a picky eater (hard, crunchy food only, often leaving out fruits and vegetables).

I was in a fix. 

Coming back to the point of that random video on Facebook: I contacted the clinic again and was given a slot to bring Bean in and at that point, we had answered a few questionnaires, his primary carer and teacher at The Big School had given her input/observation and I had pretty much decided to quit my comeback career to give him my time and devotion.

The Summer of 2018 was the summer Bean did 3 rounds of assessments (1 for speech, 1 for child wellness and 1 child IQ/Puzzle/Cognitive). I put in hours to answer more questions and online global tests. Finally, all of these assessments were completed and a cohesive report for initial findings was published.

Bean is likely to be on the spectrum. "Mild ASD, HFA likely" may seem like abbreviations to you but oh it has opened up a world of new discoveries for us a family who loves Bean and working on our way to re-engage with him. 

To be honest, our plans and parenting styles had been Girl-centric before this. These abbreviations has been a game-changer as we seek to close the gaps, help Bean form neurons in social and behavioral aspects, seek out better schooling options and other early intervention measures. It has been a journey that brought new routines into our lives that included hippotherapy, social and play therapies and such.

Quite often, I recognize points of what had seemed so difficult in the past when dealing with Bean, now makes sense and I consciously put in more effort and empathy in being a better person to Bean.

I am so thankful for that video because it prompted me to act. 

So it is true, always trust your gut instincts as a mother.