The End?

Salam my lovelies,

I have been going through a rough period pretty much on my own about appreciating The Other Half since the end of last year when we were constantly falling ill and holidays were cancelled one after another all in quick succession.

I questioned myself if I were just in this marriage for the easy portion (because I would like to kick my own derrière if this the case!). We endured two surgeries, scoring one each also in quick succession. By the grace of Allah swt, I survived the tough period quietly.

Our marriage needs fine-tuning. I am tired. Tired of constantly existing and persevering without "sparkles".

The one night hospital stay recharged me. The big bouquet of flowers helped reinforce the sweetness and love The Other Half could express because one of the nurses who saw him related to me how he brought it, and waited for me.

It did not resolve that easily. The Other Half slipped into manic depression, with the highs being euphoric and the lows in the gutter of gutters. The kids got the brunt of it. So did I.

Something had to be done because I was crying daily. 

Then I reached out to someone dear to me who stayed close to monitor, encourage and uplift me. Thank you, my dear. Thank God for you.

How has this improved my situation with The Other Half? Why was this phase a test?

On his good days:

I start to appreciate The Other Half again for who he is, to me, in the gentle and respectful way he treats me as the mother to his children, and his life partner. 

The little things like fetching my cup of English Breakfast Tea with just the right amount of milk without any sugar served just at its perfect drinking temperature when I nurse Bean. 

The medium things like sending Girl to The Big School when I am flat out tired and unfit to drive in the morning after a particularly clingy Bean stayed up all night and letting me nap when I suffer from broken sleep the night before.

The major things like making sure all bills are paid on time, and always being prudent. He provides to the best of his ability and I am thankful.

On his bad days:

The bad was so bad I am not going to list it here. Suffice to say the list is longer than my gratitude list. It went downhill so fast I did not have time to comprehend what was going on.

Luckily, I got a good contact from my pillar of strength. I sought the help of a professional counsellor and we carved out my options as well as useful pointers of how I can improve the situation.

A bird's eye view, emotional SWOT analysis and action plan.

One of the things to do is to send The Other Half for an assessment so that he can cope better too. A lifestyle modification plan! I am glad he sees this as an opportunity to move forward happier instead of groping in the dark and damaging everyone and everything around him. 

We were so close to losing this marriage and family. It was that bad.

May Allah swt protect and guide us into the 7th anniversary. Amin.