Sunday, 4 June 2017

Biopsy, Brunch and Becoming

Salam Ramadan my lovelies,

Please forgive me for the long silence. I have been "living" at Prince Court Medical Centre of late.

If you only see my Facebook posts and do not personally know me, it sure looks like I have been enjoying jolly good meals and light banter with the Belang Mums before Ramadan. In fact, you can see some of our girly brunch dates at The Drama Queen's blog too. Their love, laughter and sometimes superficial subjects have kept me afloat on more days than not. They are my breath of fresh air outside my hospital walls.

Tomorrow, I get to find out the results of my multi nodular goitre biopsy. Follicular cancer of thyroid risk was mentioned and I felt my knees knock from fear/shock.  I can attest now that the ultrasound guided fine needle aspiration cytology I have had are not that bad. Compared to my moles excision under local anaesthesia? The latter was a walk in the park. Hollywood waxing without numbing cream? Bring it on!

Total thyroidectomy, post-operative concerns and supplements dependency are all new to me. I learn something new daily. It took me consultations with 6 specialists, CT Scans, X-Rays and ultrasounds before I hit a raw nerve of punching one PIN too often on my credit card. Out of  frustration and a moment of vulnerability, I finally buckled and whined to someone close to me whom I trust genuinely cares for me. Like a superhero, some intervention to the system started happening and I was redirected on the treatment path more comfortable to me. Alhamdulillah for superhero characters. They look ordinary but they perform extraordinary gestures of kindness.

In this long and and arduous journey of becoming, I am mostly grateful for supportive family and friends. I still work from home, I still run patient support groups and I still am me. 

Sometimes, I wake up to really encouraging messages sent to me by a compassionate friend or two and they keep me going. They remind me that I am amazing, that I am full of light and that my path is admirable. All the time and trouble they take to compose short essays despite their busy schedules humbles me.

Truly, I am just me. It is up to Him what he does with me.

InshaAllah, tomorrow I will learn something new. Something to be grateful about no matter what it says on my biopsy report. Fine, later in the week I will receive another biopsy report for the 2 moles. I remind myself to look at the 99% chance of those reports being benign and the 1% of them being CA. 

Wish me luck! Thank you for all your prayers and God bless.


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