How Do You Cope?

One fellow mum asked me the above question yesterday over a quick breakfast. It was a candid, rapid fire of questions as soon as she learnt that I am a work-from-home mother of two with no part-time cleaner coping without a live-in Bibik. 

I don't blame her at all, tried my best to apply what Prophet Luqman had said, "Remember two matters and forget two matters: Remember Allah and death; forget any good that you have done to another and any evil that was done to you by another."

There are a few mums like myself whom I know of, and they are thriving! Of course, there are days when I feel exhausted and need to rest/recharge but up I get and live my life.

My honest answer to her question was this: "I don't think, I just cruise along. I only think of how to do it better, using lesser resources."

The objections and rebuttals were impressive. They were all statements I have had in my head for myself in the past when I was doubting myself and struggling to come to terms with what I need to do versus what I want to do.

"But you are a lawyer!"

"But you were at Petronas!"

"But you had a good salary and perks!"

"But you had a future!"

"Don't you miss the business class flights and executive suites?"

"Don't you miss the designer bags, shoes and all?"

"Don't you miss seeing your EPF statement grow?"

"Don't you miss meeting intelligent adults?"

"Don't you miss all the corporate perks and lifestyle?"

I let all those comments slip. I did not feel any hurt or regret! A new topic was soon introduced and the atmosphere  remained cheerful. I am getting better at this.

In retrospect, those statements she had mentioned have stopped bothering me. I don't have time, how conveniently so. Doubts and negativity-infused mental chatter is something I have learnt to overcome. 

I only had this typed out so that I can remind myself of how far I have come along since 9.9.9 and be grateful for my journey, and how my priorities shifted over the years.

My greater but seemingly menial immediate concerns are, amongst others:

- spending sufficient quality time with each of my two children while maintaining a healthy line of communication with The Other Half. 

- meeting professional due dates and being on time for appointments. 

- serving healthy, wholesome, clean, nutritious home-cooked meals prepared on time before hungry children,

especially Bean, cry.

- having clean clothes ready for whatever activity the day calls for. 

- making sure homework is done and lessons properly understood.

- piano pieces practiced and theory sheets completed.

- keeping The Flat and The Car clean.

- the 1001 things I just have to manage when presented with them (life has a way of doing this elegantly, doesn't it?)

If the above is not KPI, I am keen to learn from you, my lovelies. Help me improve!

Yes, I have resigned to the fact that this is my calling, for now. When I delve into my blessings, I truly believe I have more now than ever before. Both extrinsic and intrinsic, spiritually too.

Only Allah swt knows  His Plans. I only know I am in the right place doing the right thing at the right time. Maybe that is all I need to know. 

This is the greener side of my field. Stay, and help me grow!

Snippets: World Population

We were driving along Jalan Ampang heading towards MRR2 this morning when she asked me a question.

Random, as usual.

"Mummy, how many people are there in this world today?"

I blurted out a ball park 7 billion.

My guess is that the number is just a number to her. Like 7 or 70. She may not truly comprehend or appreciate how many people 7 billion really is. 

I am not too sure if it is time I introduce her to www.worldometers.info or www.countrymeters.info

What do you think? Would she be obsessed with the ticking numbers? Are the numbers accurate? 

The Little Girl is 5!

The standard issue Rainbow Ruffles Cake, which was a dream come true for The Little Girl. Simple, affordable and delicious!

We ordered another customised Frozen Ruffles Cake for The Little Girl to share with her classmates and teachers. Apologies for not being able to show you this other beautiful 10"x10" lavender, baby blue, baby pink and white ruffles cake as it was surrounded by many young girls and boys whose privacy and identity must be protected *hehehe*

Cakes were from Cake Sense at KLCC. If you ask to see the manager, you can arrange for customised cake design with 3 days' notice. Prices vary according to individual cake specifications.

Due to limited commute time, I could not place an order with our favourite baker in Subang like we did last year. Perhaps next time, in sha Allah.

The Little Girl's most memorable presents this year are Frozen Lego set and ELC Easel. Made her year! She is a year short of being 6 (the recommended age for Frozen Lego set) but we figured she is "big enough". It is Bean we have to watch! As such, the play set is redesigned to her own bedroom's play area instead of being placed at the common play area.

The ELC Easel has a huge footprint so we have decided for it to be kept at The Flat Upstairs. I just cannot handle Bean trying to climb, topple over or snap shut the easel over himself every time I need to prepare meals. 

Her birthday loot this year includes the usual suspects: birthday cards, books and a couple of dresses. 

Bean had his own loot of books, puzzles and cars too, bless!

Madam Kwan's also threw The Little Girl a surprise birthday song and ice cream with a candle after dinner. She had an anxiety attack, hid under the tables, and had tears rolling down her cheeks when The Other Half carried her out of the cafe.  This is not the first time you have read about her anxiety attacks - and I am going to ask her counsellor for ways to cope better. Despite this little incident...

... syukur alhamdulillah for such a lovely birthday. May Allah swt bless The Little Girl always and may she grow up to be a Muslimah solehah. 

Amin.

The 20 Seconds Hug

Do you have a go-to love-affirming strategy at home?

I learnt this love-affirming strategy known as the 20 Seconds Hug from Dr. Andrea Mayrhofer in a Positive Parenting Workshop in 2013.

It does take much out of me when I need a strong love-ammo to deal with sibling rivalry, amongst others. Over time, I come to appreciate that this simple method works for my stressed out spouse too.

Hug tightly. Count silently from 1-20 or say "I love you very much, baby *insert name here*."

The Little Girl was going through a rough patch emotionally after she had realised that Bean is here to stay and that she could not just return him to the hospital or stuff him back into my belly. After many doses of The 20 Seconds Hug peppered with back rubs and kisses on her cheeks, she throws hardly any tantrums now compared to before.

Bean gets his fair share of 20 seconds hugs too because he sometimes goes through separation anxiety when he is being dropped off at The Playschool, or sees me leaving home for The Big School with his elder sister.

Works 80% of the time, and is good enough for me.

My liberal dose of 20 seconds hugs at other times of the day:

- before I hit the shower/use the bathroom

- before I start any chore at the kitchen or laundry area

- before tucking The Little Girl in for the night

When I am very lucky, they give me the 20 seconds hug! You'd be surprised how long 20 seconds feels like just being present in that moment. 

Botany Observation Homework

I remember doing this Science homework at Primary 5 or 6. My assignment was to put the beans in the dark (deprivation from sunlight) but water it daily. Needless to say, none of the beans sprouted. All I had for show and tell was a container full of greenish black mould, revolting much!

The Little Girl is doing this (and doing it better than I did) at Reception. She listened to the instructions to water it daily, give it some sunshine exposure daily and observe. After numbering the growth sequence correctly, she tried mixing the colour pencils for the right shade to accurately reflect the progress of the bean stalks.

Little details such as this assures me that we are on the right course for her learning experience at The Big School.

Now that the homework is done, and the bean stalks are still thriving, she waters her pet plant once daily. She even warned Bean not to pull or eat her homework. Too adorable!

Another Busy Week

How is your week going, my lovelies?

Bean is down with fever. He eats and maintains his jolly self so we are going to monitor his progress. The Other Half and I are zombies from keeping watch, sponging and occasionally carrying him to ease his discomfort. Alhamdulillah, he recovered overnight!

If he is not at Playschool, I will have more on my plate than usual.

The Little Girl is getting her exam results back this week and we are excited for her. There always is excitement with our firstborn. 

No, she did not play and sing at the mini concert last Saturday. I saw it coming, remember?

She did, however, perform the whole repertoire perfectly for me to record then Whatsapp to her teacher. Privately. Shy violet. We will have to work on her stage fright. Those videos saved her and she is progressing to JMC Primary 2, alhamdulillah.

We need to work on her stage fright/nervousness pronto since we need her to overcome it by this Saturday. Sports carnival and family day is coming up this weekend and already she is planning on not participating, despite faring well and even winning at the telematch rehearsals.

We have been cheering her on, boosting her morale, explain teamwork spirit and try to gauge her understanding on being a positive contributor towards the coveted championship trophy for Red House. 

Fell on deaf ears, I suspect. 

So here I am, fatigued from the beatings of this week but not quite giving up on extending my best to motivate her. If you know of any good strategies, please do share!

Taman Tasik Ampang Hilir

It was quite hazy last Saturday. This view would have been spectacular on a clear day.

Soothing sight.

The playground was not as clean or as big as the KLCC playground but we hope for its condition to improve because the kids love this park. They were especially excited upon seeing the lake's resident terrapin come up to sun itself on a tyre fixture.

We also spotted a few little cafes open for breakfast and hope to be back, in sha Allah.