Saturday, 29 November 2014

Gratitude: Fixing and Healing

Today, I am thankful for an awakening.

An awakening to be a better Muslim. The Little Girl had recently started "agama" classes at The Playschool and her "Ustazah" taught her the names of the 5 obligatory prayers. She can now recite Subuh, Zuhur, Asar, Maghrib and Isyak. Her favourite "sound" is Maghrib. Bless!

Well, a huge portion of my 2014 has been about fixing my outer shell as a Muslimah. Fixing my hijab, as an obvious example. Fasting steadfastly and properly during Ramadhan is another but I wish I had been more "pure in thoughts" and "pure in thoughts when idle". Zakat has been settled, and Hajj may still wait for now. Syukur alhamdulillah for those baby steps.

For the rest of 2014, I am going to try to heal my inner self and fix everything that is broken from within. There is only December left to 2014, so the clock is really ticking loudly for me. You may already guess by now which pillar in Islam I am going to strive for.

Yes, solat. In sha Allah. I have always felt happiest/most calm/most at peace when "ranting" it all to Him because He is The Best Listener. Lately, I feel the compulsion is observing the 5 prayers, and the guilt when missing prayers is strong. He had blessed my family with so much and yet I am so lacking as His servant. The "agama" class awakening is so timely, jazakAllah

I must make that change for myself because solat will be the first account on Judgment Day.

I must strive to be a stronger and practising Muslimah.

The biggest journey starts with the first step. May Allah swt remove my stumbling blocks, obstacles and hardship, Amin! May Allah swt also grant me sufficient living and healthy days for me to make good to Him and repent my sins, Amin!


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