Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Honest Answer

Every now and then, my PIL ask about my desire to return to work full time (in an office, gainful employment, chasing my dreams and bringing home the dough). 

The answer used to be a confident "yes" when I only had The Little Girl but that is quickly changing with Bean around. When she was about 8 months old, I even went as far as updating my résumé and meeting up with my head-hunter from Singapore, only to withdraw when my PIL objected to the offer and counter-offered with another opportunity (an ideal offer of working from home with flexible hours and almost non-existent deadlines, bless!)

2 kids later, my scenario has changed. Recently, they have asked again about my plans on catching up with my career path. It has left me with some insecurity and jitters.

How am I going to cope (with full time employment outside) with housework, cooking, laundry, homework and their studies, music and piano practice, swimming lessons, soccer dates, play dates etc. if I were working full time and not allowed to hire a helper? It is a catch 22 puzzle for me. 

As a result, by and by, my own hopes and dreams dissolves into nothingness, replaced beautifully and bursting with potential of what my children can possibly achieve.

Now I understand the meaning of sacrifice.

Now I understand what one does for unconditional love.

Now I accept that I have so much more to learn, through my children.

Syukur alhamdulillah for this opportunity, as I better myself, through my children.

Maybe, I have to communicate this change to my PIL...and maybe ask why they never ask The Other Half the same question...

Finally, I am growing. Up.


  1. My sentiments exactly!

    I recently went through a slightly different but similar experience. It's definitely disappointing to have to sacrifice my own career dreams but it's more heartbreaking to see my other half going further than myself. It's like there's this invisible wall/barrier between a mother and her dreams once she has a child but it's a free world for a father.

    I am absolutely envious of those who seem to so easily forget about their own career goals and happily embrace motherhood; especially those SAHM who were once successful FTWM!

    1. You plucked the words out of my mind, Liyana! It is still a blessing in the form of success by your husband. Perhaps when your kid is elder you may wish to rekindle your career dreams? I am going to seek Talentcorp's advice soon!

  2. Hi Hampshire Mummy,

    As for me, am currently a FTWM and taking turns with my husband looking after our son. My annual leaves finished, have maxed up my MCs, LL and what nots.. Now my husband has to decline all business offer albeit lucrative ones (he is in transport business) just because i cannot take leave. Beginning next year, am thinking of being a SAHM. How did you do it? i find it a little daunting to take this step considering i have been working for almost a decade now. But at the same time am looking forward to it - does this even make sense? the thing is, my parents are against of this idea. sigh..FTWM dilemma...

    1. Hi Dash Darus,

      What does your heart whisper to you? Have you prayed, talked to your husband, gotten the budget and financial forecast sorted, discussed with elders, thought of alternatives available, set up multiple sources of income and decided? I am a work from home mum hoping to make a career comeback so my current thought process is exactly the reverse of yours :)

      Hope you will find the best answer and workable arrangement best suited to everyone in your family!

      Best wishes and keep me updated :)

  3. Hi Hampshire Mummy,

    My parents are totally against of it (me quitting my job). My husband doesn't mind. He is ok with any decision i choose.. off late, i kinda leaning towards continue working. Last week we were introduced to a trusted babysitter - albeit her house is far from us. Perhaps thats the sign from above. We are going to give her a try. I pray that my son will be fine with her.

    I wish i can work from home too..opened up a business or something. hehehe.. how about u? what are you doing, if you dont mind me asking?

    1. Dear Dash Darus,

      Like you parents, I will not allow my daughter to quit her future job too but in sha Allah I will be healthy and strong enough to care for her future children, so that my daughter can have a career. This is the very essence of support system which I lack and wish I have. In a nutshell, I can understand why parents will not allow their children to quit.

      Having an alternative source of income while taking care of the household and family is a feasible route. Perhaps you can stay in your job now and plan/start the groundwork now.

      Congrats on finding a reliable babysitter! That's a great blessing indeed!

      Happy new year and may the best answers find you and yours.