Tuesday, 31 March 2015

How Do You Cope?

One fellow mum asked me the above question yesterday over a quick breakfast. It was a candid, rapid fire of questions as soon as she learnt that I am a work-from-home mother of two with no part-time cleaner coping without a live-in Bibik. 

I don't blame her at all, tried my best to apply what Prophet Luqman had said, "Remember two matters and forget two matters: Remember Allah and death; forget any good that you have done to another and any evil that was done to you by another."

There are a few mums like myself whom I know of, and they are thriving! Of course, there are days when I feel exhausted and need to rest/recharge but up I get and live my life.

My honest answer to her question was this: "I don't think, I just cruise along. I only think of how to do it better, using lesser resources."

The objections and rebuttals were impressive. They were all statements I have had in my head for myself in the past when I was doubting myself and struggling to come to terms with what I need to do versus what I want to do.

"But you are a lawyer!"

"But you were at Petronas!"

"But you had a good salary and perks!"

"But you had a future!"

"Don't you miss the business class flights and executive suites?"

"Don't you miss the designer bags, shoes and all?"

"Don't you miss seeing your EPF statement grow?"

"Don't you miss meeting intelligent adults?"

"Don't you miss all the corporate perks and lifestyle?"

I let all those comments slip. I did not feel any hurt or regret! A new topic was soon introduced and the atmosphere  remained cheerful. I am getting better at this.

In retrospect, those statements she had mentioned have stopped bothering me. I don't have time, how conveniently so. Doubts and negativity-infused mental chatter is something I have learnt to overcome. 

I only had this typed out so that I can remind myself of how far I have come along since 9.9.9 and be grateful for my journey, and how my priorities shifted over the years.

My greater but seemingly menial immediate concerns are, amongst others:

- spending sufficient quality time with each of my two children while maintaining a healthy line of communication with The Other Half. 

- meeting professional due dates and being on time for appointments. 

- serving healthy, wholesome, clean, nutritious home-cooked meals prepared on time before hungry children,
especially Bean, cry.

- having clean clothes ready for whatever activity the day calls for. 

- making sure homework is done and lessons properly understood.

- piano pieces practiced and theory sheets completed.

- keeping The Flat and The Car clean.

- the 1001 things I just have to manage when presented with them (life has a way of doing this elegantly, doesn't it?)

If the above is not KPI, I am keen to learn from you, my lovelies. Help me improve!

Yes, I have resigned to the fact that this is my calling, for now. When I delve into my blessings, I truly believe I have more now than ever before. Both extrinsic and intrinsic, spiritually too.

Only Allah swt knows  His Plans. I only know I am in the right place doing the right thing at the right time. Maybe that is all I need to know. 

This is the greener side of my field. Stay, and help me grow!


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